What We Do For Love
by HarlequinRavenwing
Summary: ONE-SHOT - Bronwen Cousland agreed to Morrigan's Ritual, but when her beloved Alistair agrees to sleep with the witch, she can only find comfort in the arms of an elven assassin. Rated M for intimate scenes. All characters property of Bioware. ORIGINALLY A ONE-SHOT, BUT NOW INCORPORATED INTO 'TRUTH IN THE BLOOD'.
1. What We Do For Love

WHAT WE DO FOR LOVE…

_She would stand before him, naked and lithe, her svelte body swaying hypnotically and those full lips pouting suggestively…_

Stop it…just stop!

_He would be laying there with that sweet, bashful look on his face as she laid a silken hand on his thigh and slid it upward toward his groin…_

No…don't do this to yourself…

_He always said he hated her, but now…with her ready sex positioned over his member…_

Please….no.

_Of course, he would enjoy it. He'd have to in order to climax, to get her with child. Would he call her name as he thrust inside her? Would he hold her tightly as his seed pumped into her? Would he cradle her in his arms afterward and whisper into her hair…just as he always did when they made love…? _

Bronwen Cousland felt her eyes burning with hot tears as she watched Alistair reluctantly follow Morrigan out of her room.

This was happening…it was really happening. Her husband to be, the future King of Ferelden was going to sleep with the taciturn woman who had become one of her most loyal friends.

She bit down hard onto her lip to stifle the sob that threatened to tear from her throat and tasted the iron tang of her blood...her damned tainted blood. The same blood that meant this act, this ritual had to take place at all.

She guessed it was some form of divine retribution.

At the Landsmeet, she had taken the head of Teryn Loghain not only for the crimes he had committed against King Cailan, the elves of the Alienage, Duncan and the Grey Wardens and Ferelden itself, but for him…for Alistair.

Seeing the outrage in his face when Riordan had suggested recruiting the Teryn to the Wardens had been the weight that tipped the scales. She herself was a child of noble birth, a Cousland no less and deep down, she knew the right thing to do was to offer him mercy and the chance to redeem those wrongs…but Alistair would never have forgiven her.

Not for that.

Even as her sword fell, she knew there would be a price to pay. The assembled nobles hadn't judged her, but somehow, somewhere, she knew somebody would…

Afterwards, she had declared Alistair to be the rightful King and she was certain of her decision even if he was not. He was a good man…no, a great man with the heart of a lion and a steely sense of justice that was tempered with kindness and compassion. Ferelden could have no better ruler.

Then she had surprised herself by offering to rule at his side as Queen Consort.

Naturally, there had been unkind murmurs of her grasping for power, but the simple truth was that she loved him with all her heart and soul and the thought of being without Alistair scared her more than a thousand Archdemons.

So it was decided.

An unconventional proposal, but one that Alistair had calmly accepted and then in the privacy of his room in Arl Eamon's estate, they had celebrated with a desperate, passionate union that brought tears to her eyes as they both reached their peaks and then slumbered in the bliss of exhausted, satisfied sleep.

Then they had returned to Redcliffe and things had taken a painful turn.

A couple of hours ago, Riordan had asked to see them. The look on his face was one of haunted sorrow. Even now, she still felt the chill in her heart as he had explained that the reason only the Grey Wardens could end the Blight was that the Archdemon must be slain by one who has the taint…one who had been inducted into their order…one who must be willing to sacrifice his or her life to perform the killing blow.

For the Archdemon to be destroyed, a Grey Warden must die.

Riordan had volunteered to take the blow but there was no guarantee that he would make it that far and so it would fall to either her or Alistair to end the Blight…and their life together. They had left Riordan in stunned silence. A decision to be made and yet neither willing to make it. Just as she would gladly lay down her life for the man she cared about above all others, so he would do the same for her and therein lay the problem.

Bronwen Cousland could not allow that to happen.

Her mind had raced as they went to their separate rooms, an idea forming in her head. She would tell Zevran of her plight and make him swear to incapacitate Alistair at the appropriate time. The elven assassin had become a closer friend than either of them could have anticipated and she knew he would help her if she asked, even if it meant her death. In the cold light of day, Alistair was to be the King and she…well…she was possibly the last member of a noble house that no longer existed. The country could live without her, but not without her beloved Alistair.

Or so she had decided, until she spotted Morrigan warming herself by the open fire in her room.

The witch of the wilds had surprised her by telling her that she knew of the Warden's role in the slaying of the Archdemon and that she had a way out…for both of them, and Maker knows Bronwen's heart had leapt until she saw the look in her coppery eyes. Gone was the callous confidence and usual indifference that Morrigan so often displayed, and it was replaced by cautious compassion and more alarmingly, anxious guilt.

Her heart had nearly torn in two as the witch explained that to save them both, she would have to lie with Alistair and conceive a child. She would need to practice a dark ritual that would ensure that the essence of the Archdemon would be drawn into the newly conceived babe, sparing the lives of both Alistair and herself. Then Morrigan would steal away, never to be seen or heard from again to raise the child in safety and seclusion.

The agony of her solution had burned into Bronwen's heart like a fiery stake.

Morrigan had not understood her reservations. To her, sex was something she found almost a recreational past-time and not the meeting of heart and soul as it was when she lay with Alistair. Bronwen had not taken another to her bed since being with him, despite Zevran's open flirtatiousness, and the thought of asking her betrothed…_actually asking_ him to sleep with the witch was as painful as a blade to the gut.

And yet she could not bear to lose him or leave him.

So she had gone to him, covering her shame with determination and her pain with her love and Alistair had agreed.

Strangely, that had hurt more than anything else despite the fact she'd used all her guile and cunning to convince him it was the right thing to do...

And now they had departed and she was alone. The battle was on the morrow and she was spending what may be her last night alive trying not to think about Alistair in Morrigan's arms, his lips on her lips, his body against hers…his cock in her cunt.

Anger and despair threatened to overwhelm her, the need to scream and cry forcing adrenaline to surge through her body. Bare knuckles slammed into the cold stone wall as agonised rage tore through her, driving the pain from her mind as skin split and blood flowed freely across her fingers.

Suddenly she rushed from her room.

She passed _his _door, fortunately the blood rushing in her ears prevented any sounds from reaching her consciousness. On she ran through the corridors of Redcliffe, uncertain of where she was going until she spotted an open door leading to a balcony beyond. The room was in darkness, but the light of the moon was just enough that she could see the stonework balustrade glistening in the cold light and she rushed toward it, finally giving in to the wracking sobs that had been contained for too long.

So this was her penance…and how it hurt.

The blood that flowed from her hands was nothing compared to the tears that rolled down her cheeks. The coolness of the night seized upon them and chilled them to ice as they fell from her eyes and she drew in shuddering breaths to try to calm herself.

By Andraste's holy arse, this was what she wanted! She wanted Alistair to live and she wanted to be by his side!

So why then, was it so damned painful…

"Warden?" The voice was soft and rolling, heavily accented and full of care.

She quickly spun around to find Zevran Arainai standing in the shadows, his shirt and breeches in disarray.

"What are you…?"

She stopped as she spotted a naked serving girl running from the room, gathering her dress in her arms. The darkness prevented her from seeing her face but she could sense the girl's embarrassment. At least _this_ time, she had the good sense to close the door behind her.

"Oh, I see." Bronwen turned to leave. "I am sorry if I have disturbed you."

"Disturbed me, no." His perfect white teeth glinted in the moonlight. "I hadn't yet begun as such…but…what is this?"

His face darkened as he took her damaged hands in his and examined the ruined skin.

"Zevran…" She protested, trying to pull away but his grip was strong.

"Let me look at this." He insisted, pulling her toward the light of the moon. He frowned as he gently touched the wounds and then sat her down in a chair by the balustrade. "Stay here."

She stared out over the lake, feeling stupid and hurt as he disappeared into the room beyond. Bronwen hadn't particularly wanted to be found by anyone and yet there was a feeling of comfort in being with Zev. With him, there was never any pretence and he would never judge her, nor ask anything of her.

In his own way, he was the most honest of them all. Not bound by tradition like Sten or caught up in religion like Leliana. He didn't rely on drink like Oghren or have to live up to ideals like Wynne, and he was nowhere near as dry as Shale. He had all of Morrigan's wit but without the abrasiveness, and where Alistair was the warmth of the sun…Zevran was the heat of the night.

"Here we are." He had returned and knelt by her feet, a bowl of warm water in one hand and a soft towel in the other. "Be prepared I always say."

He winked up at her and she smiled despite herself as he gently dabbed the blood from her hands and cleaned the wounds across her knuckles.

"I am sorry if I have ruined your plans." Bronwen murmured softly. "I didn't realise anyone was in here."

"Hsst." He dismissively waved a hand in the air. "Glad I am that I was here. You know me, I always like to look out for a damsel in distress…especially one as beautiful and as passionate as yourself."

She watched in silence as he set down the bowl and took out a salve from a pouch on his waistband. It smelled faintly of spice and something bitter that she couldn't identify.

"Warden…" He began as he smoothed it over her skin. "As much as I am enjoying your company, why are you not with Alistair…is he the reason for your tears?"

Zevran's amber eyes travelled up to her face and when she met them, she was unable to stop a fresh tear from escaping.

"He is...that is he…" Her voice caught and she had to look away. "He is lying with Morrigan."

Saying it made it seem all the more real and she wept once more as her heart ached.

"No, no, no. You have it wrong." Zevran sighed, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from her eyes. "If I know anything at all about Alistair, it's that he loves you with all his heart and if he was going to…stray, then it would not be with that shrew I can assure you!"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Bronwen whispered, her voice hoarse and her temper beginning to flare.

"In this matter, I think I do." Zevran replied, a slight smile on his face. "You only need to listen to them bickering to know how he feels…"

"Have you suddenly gone deaf?" She snapped, jumping to her feet and glaring down at the assassin. "I tell you he is with her because that's where he is…at my invitation!"

She stepped away from the crouching elf, knocking him to the ground.

"He lies with her so that we can survive the battle, otherwise one of us will die!"

Her voice had risen more so than she had intended and she turned away, trying to control the pain that once more threatened her composure and also her relationship with her most treasured of friends.

"Forgive me Warden, but I don't understand." Zevran rose to his feet and slowly approached her.

She turned to meet his puzzled gaze and took a deep breath to still the storm of emotions that shook her to the core.

"Zev, when a Grey Warden slays an Archdemon, the Warden also dies." She saw his eyes widen as he took another step toward her. "Morrigan is…performing a ritual that will allow us to survive this. In order for things to happen, she must lie with a Warden and Riordan is far too gone with the taint and therefore…"

"Therefore she lies with your Alistair." He finished for her as the tears began to flow freely. "Oh...my dear Warden."

She felt the last vestiges of her reserve crumple as his arms circled her shoulders and she buried her face in his neck. He stroked her raven hair as she wept and whispered comfortingly in his native Antivan as he rocked her gently from side to side. She had never noticed before but he smelled of leather and honey, a bitter-sweet combination that was not unlike Zevran himself.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I know that it is only sex…but it hurts, Zev. It hurts so much."

"Shhh, Amora." He murmured, slipping his hands beneath her hair to cup her face and lift it up to his. "You don't have to ever apologise to me."

He placed a tender kiss on her forehead and leaned back.

"These tears, they fall because you are unhappy."

He kissed her eyelids and she felt her body begin to tremble.

"See how they make your skin glisten. Do not hide them…not from me."

Her pulse began to quicken as she felt the coolness of his lips upon her cheeks.

"You should not be sad, mi Amora, you have a chance at life with the man you love." His mouth hovered dangerously close to her own. "Would that I had that chance to love as you do…to love a woman like you…"

She could smell the spice on his breath and feel the hardness of his arousal as he pressed against her.

"Zevran…this is wrong." She breathed, subconsciously leaning closer toward him.

"I know." He replied, his hand sliding down her body to the belt at her waist. Deft fingers unbuckled it swiftly and he slid his fingers under the band of her drakeskin breeches into the cotton smallclothes beneath. "Do you want me to stop…?"

"I want…" Maker's breath, his fingers were in the soft curling black hair below.

"I want…" She could feel the cream of her own arousal moistening the folds of her sex as he pushed a smooth digit toward the nub of flesh that would make her yield to his ministrations.

"You want the pain to stop…if only for a moment." Zevran lowered his lips to her throat and began to tease at the delicate skin beneath her ear. "I can do that. It is a gift I would willingly give to you…if you would take it?"

_His hands upon her naked breasts as she bounces up and down upon his kingly shaft…milking his seed and conceiving a child that they, as Grey Wardens both will never have. _

_Alistair smiles as he climaxes and breaths her name…_

_Morrigan…_

"Do it, Zevran…I want this…I want you…."

His fingers found her then, and he pressed against her swollen pearl with agonising expertise, drawing forth a deep moan from the core of her being. His lips travelled over her jawline and eagerly sought her own. She felt his hot pink tongue inside her mouth as he kissed her forcefully, making her wince as he bit down on a lip that was already split and causing fresh blood to spurt forth and mix with their saliva.

She clawed at his back, tugging the shirt from his body so that it fell from his shoulders and slipped to the ground. Her nails worked bloody rents in his skin as his fingers became more insistent at her sex, pushing and teasing until her juices flowed freely soaking the fabric that still covered her.

She hadn't realised, but his other hand had been working the studded band that held up her breeches and now they were undone. Swiftly, he withdrew the hand that had been working her tender nub and he yanked the breeches down past her hips. Cool air bit at her heated skin and in the moonlight, her thatch was a black triangle glistening with the wetness of her need.

He offered her a wolfish smile as he stepped back, licking her bitterness from his fingers. In this light, his pale hair looked almost white and his tattoos stood out starkly from his darker skin. His body was lean and hard, each muscle clearly defined by years of training and he moved with inhuman grace.

Zevran was simply magnificent.

With a feral snarl, he pushed her back onto a table near the balcony and lifted her quite easily so that her buttocks rested on its cool surface. His lips found hers once more and they fought a battle for control as he sought to dominate her tongue with his own. His hands were now unlacing the hardened bulge beneath his own breeches and he pulled back a moment so she could better see.

His member was smaller than Alistair's, but he was already wet with pre-cum and as hard as stone. He grasped one of her hands and wrapped it around his shaft before returning his fingers to her aching slit, but she needed no such encouragement. His foreskin was velvety smooth as she began to milk him, sliding the sheath up and down his length causing him to pant with his want. As she did so, he found her nub again and pressed against it…coaxing sensation out of an organ already sensitive with desire and desperation.

Then he slid a finger inside her and her body writhed to the thrill of it. He followed with a second, teasing out her opening and spreading her cream around her hole. She moaned loudly at his attention and he clasped a hand over her mouth.

"Shhh Amora…" He whispered into her ear, all the while his fingers pumping in and out of her. "This is for us and us alone…a secret we will share, no?"

Bronwen nodded, eager to agree…anything to continue to feel the powerful sensations that ravaged her body, then she was being pulled forward and turned around so that her still armoured chest was now against the surface of the table. Strong hands pulled her arms behind her back and she found her wrists locked in Zevran's tight grasp. He restrained her easily with one hand while the other caressed her soft round buttocks and teased at her opening.

"Nearly there…" He moaned softly as she felt the tip of his shaft adding its own juice to her wet and ready sex. "Do you want me...?"

He pushed against her, teasing at her clitoris and slickened folds with his velvet hood.

"I want you…" She responded softly.

"Again." He pushed inside her a little, but withdrew almost immediately.

"I want you." The torture was exquisite and she felt his free hand knot itself in her raven hair.

"Again."

"I want you…I want you, Zevran!"

She almost cried out as he yanked her head back and stabbed his cock inside her so deep and so fast that she had no time to adjust. Pain and pleasure warred for control as her senses overloaded with the intimate penetration of her body, and she writhed in torment as he slowly withdrew leaving only his tip inside of her.

"Feels good, no?" He growled before plunging into her again, only this time she was ready for him and breathed in his shaft as he entered her.

What he lacked in girth and length, he made up for with experience and soon he settled into an alternating rhythm that stoked the flames of her lust and started the muscles of her inner walls twitching in anticipation of the climax to come. He released her hair and wrists before reaching a hand around her thighs to once more tease her clitoris as he fucked her, slow and deep. With the other, he grasped her hip and pulled himself into her harder and harder.

Bronwen could feel the combined fluids of their union running down her thighs and her body was starting to quiver as her orgasm began to build intensity. From the way he was hardening within her, she guessed she wasn't the only one close to the edge.

Placing her hands face down on the table either side of her head, she closed her eyes and let the feelings wash over her as animal passion and instinct took over her rational thought. Harder and harder Zevran pumped inside her and stronger and stronger the feelings became until…suddenly…yes!

She heard him cry out as his seed erupted into her, making her even more slick with the flow of it. It ran in hot streams over her clitoris, coating his fingers as he worked her and soon her own sex throbbed with spasms of pleasure as her heart began to pound and her head started to swim with the intense rapture of orgasm.

"Yes…yes…Alistair!"

She felt Zevran freeze within her as the name left her lips. Gently…slowly… he withdrew from her and stepped back.

"Zev…" She began, the haze of sensation ebbing quickly as her cheeks began to burn with shame.

"Shhh…say nothing, Amora. I knew who was in your heart when we began this."" He had retrieved the towel and began to cleanse his issue from her thighs before helping her to rise to her feet. He then pressed it to her sex as more of his seed emptied out of her.

"What?" Bronwen watched as the assassin laced his breeches and smiled at her.

"I have no claim on your heart, Amora just as _she_ has no claim on your beloved Alistair." Zevran stepped forward and kissed her tenderly. "What we shared just now was nothing more than a pleasantly erotic dream. I suggest we remember it as such."

There was a noise from beyond the door. Two voices, one female and one much more familiar…one that made her blood run cold.

Alistair.

"Damn that serving girl!" Zevran snarled as he gathered the towel and basin from the floor. "Warden, may I suggest you make yourself presentable as quickly as possible? Hurry!"

With fingers numb with fear, Bronwen quickly hitched up her breeches and secured them around her waist. She saw Zevran make his way to the shadows by the door and it was as if he vanished into the darkness there.

She rushed to the balcony and let the chill wind blow the last remnants of their exertions from her body, just as the door opened and the silhouette of a tall, powerfully built human male filled the space within.

"My love?" Alistair's soft voice carried across the floor like a whisper on the breeze.

She did not turn.

She dare not.

"Bronwen, I was looking for you." He was coming closer, she could feel the tension radiating out from him even at a distance.

"Is it done?" She asked, her voice low.

"I…that is…damn it all!" A sob choked off his answer and he paused. "Yes…it is done."

She turned at his sorrow and saw the tears on his beautiful chiselled face glistening in the moonlight. His eyes were so sad and his expression so desperate that her heart melted under his gaze and she ran to him, holding his great body in arms that trembled with love.

"Alistair." She breathed as she held him. "I am so sorry, my love. I should not have asked you to do this thing but I just couldn't stand to lose you…not now…not ever."

"Nor I you." He replied stroking her hair and squeezing her to his chest. "I just wish I hadn't had to…not with…it meant nothing to me, you know. By Andraste's Grace I swear it."

"Don't…" Fresh tears welled in her own eyes as she felt his body beneath the robe he was wearing. He had bathed…she could smell the fresh scent of soap.

"All I could think of was you…no, that sounds wrong…I didn't mean…" He stammered as he searched for the right words.

Could there ever be any?

"Alistair, please!" She begged, unwilling to hear more. "Just think of it as…as…"

She spotted Zevran over his shoulder, slipping silently from the room. She saw him nod once, his amber eyes gleaming from the light of the doorway and then he was gone.

"Just think of it as nothing more than a dream." She pulled back and gazed into Alistair's hazel eyes, her own pain and guilt mirrored in their surfaces. "A dream that will pass with the coming of the dawn."

"More like a nightmare…" He sighed, shaking his head. "I never want to remember it…ever."

He looked away from her then, his face pained and his hands grasping hers.

"Please my dear, I understand if you say no but…may I stay with you for the rest of the night?"

"Alistair…" Her eyes widened and she shook her head. Surely he could not mean to sleep with her…not after…

"No, no, no." Crimson rushed into his cheeks and he smiled weakly. "You misunderstand. I just want to wake up with you, knowing that you are my true wife to be…my true heart…and my truest love. Please Bronwen, let us at least share what little time remains before we throw ourselves to the darkspawn tomorrow. Who knows what our fate will be?"

One look into his pleading eyes softened what was left of her resolve and she gently stroked his strong, stubbled chin.

"The let us retire, beloved." She offered him a weak smile and placed an awkward kiss upon his cheek. "All will be different on the morrow."

Slowly they turned form the balcony and made their way out of the room but as she closed the door behind her, Bronwen could not help but think of Zevran and of the lingering taste of kisses.

Still, it was done now and whatever was to happen next, at least she and Alistair could face it together.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**After writing this story as a one shot, I wondered what would happen to our unhappy lovers. Certainly their story was far from over, and there was definitely something unsaid between the Warden and her elven companion, thus I added the following, second chapter.**

**However as a conclusion to the story, it actually raied more questions than it answered, and so after some enouraging feedback from some of my readers, 'Truth in the Blood' was born.**

**If you want to read that story, please avoid the following chapter as it contains major spoilers and note that both the content above, and the letters from the second chapter now appear in Truth in the Blood, slightly altered to fit the flow of the overall story.**

**Quin xXx**


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**After writing the previous chapter as a one shot, I wondered what would happen for our unhappy lovers. Certainly, their story was far from over and there was definitely something unsaid between the warden and her elven companion and thus, I added this second chapter. **

**However, as a conclusion to the story it actually raised more questions than it answered and so, after some encouraging feedback from some of my readers, 'Truth in the Blood 02 – The Price We Pay' was born.**

**If you want to read it, please avoid the chapter shown below as it contains major spoilers and note that this content does also appear in that fic, slightly altered to fit the flow of the story.**

**Gixx.**

**MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD FOR TRUTH IN THE BLOOD 02 – THE PRICE WE PAY**

* * *

_My Dearest Warden_

_Or should I say, Your Highness…Greetings from Antiva!_

_I do wonder to myself, does the title sit as comfortably upon your shoulders as that of King does upon your beloved Alistair? I hear the people adore him, though he enrages the nobles of the land with his lack of attention to court intrigue and politics. He will learn that such actions should be avoided, lest his throne be not as secure as he hopes and yet, with you by his side who would dare challenge him!_

_Ah, would that he was an Antivan Monarch. I would order those wagging tongues silenced for you as a gesture of both my admiration and respect..._

_And because it would also give me a chance to show off my ever increasing skills and perhaps receive a rich reward or two! The gratitude of a beautiful woman is a splendid thing…especially if she happens to be the Queen Consort of Ferelden._

_It has been quite a year for you, no? _

_I hear the wedding was quite a spectacle and that the bride looked as radiant as the morning sun, a vision of beauty glowing with health and blooming with both her love for her new husband and the promise of a new life contained in her belly._

_Tut tut tut, my dear! _

_I think the nobles prefer it if their Royals wait until after the horse is saddled before they ride off at a gallop…though it is fair to say, you and Alistair had already covered many miles during our little expedition against the darkspawn._

_Still, I think you like to shock them once in a while, no? You are certainly no shrinking violet to be told what or who to do and by whom, and that is one of the things I admire about you the most. _

_I truly hope your son, Alexander inherits the same sense of blatant disregard for what is proper and follows his mother into the realms of reckless abandon with as much enthusiasm and determination as you yourself!_

_Oh, no doubt being Alistair's son and a Royal Prince and heir to the throne will provide certain obstacles to this, but like you I am certain he will find a way to get around such restrictions and seize life with both hands as his mother does._

_If he inherits her looks, then no doubt he will break a few hearts along the way. I know his mother certainly did._

_If I may be so bold, do you ever think back to that night before the final battle? I often wonder to myself what would have happened if a dream had been allowed to become a reality. If a man and a woman had found each other on the very eve of the event that would change their lives forever…_

_But of course they did, and even though the pain was hard to bear…I hope they both took something form it that they treasured in their hearts always._

_But let us not dwell on such things… _

_I understand you have been trying to find me, and for that I am sorry. Things in Antiva were a little chaotic when I returned. _

_Yes, yes…with the Crows believing I was dead I should have taken the chance to see the world, travel to new destinations and embraced the wine, women and song of all the peoples of Thedas! I have never made love to a quinari you know…remarkable but true!_

_But alas, how I missed the sweet stench of Antiva City! I was drawn back there just as surely as you were drawn to your beloved Templar and what I found was an organisation in disarray. The Crows, though still formidable were fractured and disorganised, their numbers decimated by the darkspawn invasion. _

_I saw an opportunity to…how you say…seize the bull by the horns, an apt analogy considering my own prowess in all matters! _

_I rallied those Crows with a vision similar to my own and like you, bit by bit, piece by piece I ended up with a small army and stormed the guildhouse! The fighting was fierce and the streets ran red with the blood of many, but we prevailed._

_Of course, over the year there have been many attempts on my life by those still loyal to the old ways but we are finally getting rid of such distractions and I find myself in the position of Guildmaster!_

_Remarkable, no?_

_Anyway, I hope this goes some way to addressing my lapse in communicating with you and yet, not all the way._

_As for my other reasons, let's just say that some dreams leave a lasting impression and it took a while for my heart to listen to my head._

_Now at last, I hope we can be the friends we once were and I long to see you again._

_If only to stare at you lewdly!_

_Take care my dear Warden._

_Ever yours_

_Z. _

* * *

Zevran…

How do I even begin to tell you what I must?

Firstly, I have a request you must honour for the sake of my marriage and more importantly, the sake of my son.

The courier delivering this letter is a Grey Warden and one of my most trusted allies. Nathaniel is loyal, discreet and knows his way around Antiva, so I have no doubts that this missive will reach you unopened and unread.

Once read, this letter must be destroyed as it concerns not only the secrets of my heart but the future of my kingdom. If you have any reply to make…if you can find it in your heart to forgive…then Nathaniel can be trusted to carry your response directly to me.

I cannot stress the importance of what I must say and yet, were you to make this public out of anger, hurt or ambition…

Listen to me.

I ramble on like a terrified girl and in many ways, that is how I feel talking to you in this way. Not that it would be any easier saying this to your face, in fact seeing you again would unsettle my heart more than ever and yet I long to for that more than I could ever have dreamed…

As I once dreamed on that fateful night…

It is true I have tried to find you, sending out runners and couriers, even employing the services of the most beautiful Orlesian bards to try and find the elusive Zevran Arainai, but until now I have had no word.

I had feared that you were lost, that the Crows had finally caught up with you and I lay many a night with fear in my heart and tears in my eyes that I was not there to fight at your side.

Then your letter arrived and I knew what it was to experience true happiness once more, but it was tempered by a feeling of desperate terror when I realised I was finally getting the chance to tell you the truth.

You know a little of the true nature of the Grey Wardens…of the way the taint affects us.

Enough to know that Alistair and myself, each bearing the taint had little to no chance of conceiving a child and frankly, never expected to. That he got Morrigan with child, we thought was down to old magic, a dark miracle that took from him the only chance to be a father he would ever have.

You can imagine then his joy on discovering months later, that I was carrying an heir to the Theirin line.

Zev, I had never seen him so happy. He was like a child all over again…picking out names, planning our future and worrying constantly over my ability to carry the baby to term. He was almost overbearing at times…

But I made sure I was careful and the life growing within my womb was strong. I sent out word to the Circle of Magi that I needed to get in touch with Wynne. If anyone could help me bring this life into the world, it would surely be she.

It was at this time, that I also tried to find you.

And so it was, in the coolness of a Denerim autumn, I was delivered of a son.

The boy was small, Wynne said, smaller than she would have expected for one who had been carried the full time.

As soon as I saw him…I knew why.

Alexander is a babe still, merely three months old but everyday his eyes are changing from a rich baby blue…to a golden amber. Alistair chooses to believe that it is because of the taint and I did not discourage this. He dotes on the boy and is a wonderful a father as he is a king and husband.

My son is strong, Zevran with a good pair of lungs and a ready smile. His grip is developing already, in both hands and I feel that he will be a skilled swordsman like his father. At the moment he has his mother's face, but in him I see the man he will become and as he gets older he will be his double in appearance…enough I think to no longer be able to pretend that he is the son of a King, the son of a human…the son of my husband.

Yes Zevran.

Alexander is your son.

I had wanted to tell you before, but I could not reach you! Even if I had, what was I to do? Married to the man I loved and yet yearning for another…how I have agonised over this.

I do not know how to even begin to tell you how sorry I am that you are finding out in this way and yet I know of no other way to tell you.

Please forgive me Zevran…I beg you.

If things were different, if I had the time over again…I would like to think that our dream ended differently.

A king would have sat on the throne, but his queen would not have been the Warden Commander.

If he would accept her, she would have travelled with her elven companion, her true love, the father of her child…and together they would have made a life that was filled with passion, excitement and nights spent in each other's arms until the deep roads finally called her to their darkness.

And that is something else I must consider.

Alistair and I are Warden's, the taint pulling us both inexorably to that end and my son will be alone before his time.

I would not have that for him. I wish him to know his father, that he may have somebody in this world who will care for him as much as I do.

I do not know what this means for me, for Alistair or for you, but I must do what is right for him and it is time for the truth between us all.

So I ask you Zevran, please consider my words and forgive my actions against you.

You are in my heart more than you know and I would give everything I have to be at your side…

Your devoted Warden

Bronwen Theirin.

* * *

_My Heart_

_I would guess that this may reach you only days before I arrive in Denerim myself. It seems we have much to discuss. _

_Do not beg me for forgiveness, amora. There is nothing to forgive. _

_Times were uncertain and our hearts were clouded by events beyond our control and through it all, we...that is you and I, created a life! A baby! A son no less!_

_You will forgive me if I confess how much I wept with joy at this news, though in the harsh light of morning I see that it is not so simple a matter._

_Truly, it would be glorious to sweep you up in my arms and carry you off to Antiva but what then? _

_Alexander would be brought up in the Crow Assassin's Guild surrounded by killers and whores. Though it was a life I grew accustomed to and even hold a certain fondness for, I have no wish to inflict such a drastic change of circumstance on either the woman I love or our infant son._

_Well, look at that. It seems fatherhood has brought out the confessor in me._

_I say I love you and I say this because it is so. It is actually quite liberating to finally get that off my chest!_

_So now then what do we do?_

_I propose we speak to Alistair together. I fully intend to play a part in our son's life and the sharpest blade could not keep me from him or indeed from you, but I will not destroy the life he has._

_Maybe we can come to some…arrangement. Only the three of us need know the truth and if Alistair truly cares for the boy as much as you say, then hopefully he will see reason…that is…once his heart is healed…I cannot imagine what this news is going to do to him…_

_But I digress…_

_Alexander need not be revealed as a bastard, Alistair himself knows the stigma this can bring, and many Royal marriages are simply unions of convenience and not of love. _

_If the King is willing, our son may remain in the Royal Palace with his stepfather for he is a good man and will only be the best of influences upon him. In nobility, honour and strength of character, there is no one his equal. _

_I will seek out a dwelling nearby where I would be able to see Alexander and maybe even teach him some of my better qualities…you know, swordsmanship, the dual wield, where to pick up the best whores…_

_I jest my love… _

_I would only ask that you leave the rooms of the King. I have never been a jealous man amora, and I haven't made such demands upon you before but to lie with Alistair when your heart is no longer his, that would destroy him._

_And I must confess…these feelings of love, to which I am wholly unaccustomed, cry out for you to be at my side and not his. I believe I have waited long enough, my dearest Warden. _

_I want you and no other._

_Ah, mi amora…your courier, whom I am amazed to find is a Howe no less, is here and I must prepare to fly to your side._

_Wait for me but a little longer…for I am and always will be_

_Your Zevran. _


End file.
